Category Archives: acceptance

Conscious surrender

In this moment all doors are closed,

in this moment there is no hope.

Not a way to cope,

that is working for me any more,

this is what was in store,

embrace this fall, rock bottom, the floor.

Conscious surrender,

open to the teachings through what seems like a blunder

Now the only way is up,

higher, higher, we levitate past this one small space where we were once stuck,

without much luck,

it is a relief, to finally be able to breathe, not heave,

gasp or grasp, just finally leave,

all that baggage and so we grieve

and move on.

but know I feel much better off,

now that it is all over,

went through the strife, stone cold sober,

did not escape tempting as it was and now it is too late,

I fell through and saw the boulder,

on my path, weight on my shoulder,

for exactly what it was as I grew older,

Many times I wished for a four leaf clover,

but nothing would show,

I do not know at the time how to grow,

I do not know where to go,

what I was doing, who I was, a purpose, skill, talent, nothing, nada, nothing at all

there was just a wall,

it would not come down,

a blank canvas, empty, I would go round and round,

but never did make a sound,

so you would never know,

and I would swear never, ever to put on a show,

no reason for that no, no.

I decide instead to flow and maybe tomorrow I could let it all go

maybe then I will finally see,

find something that comes to me with relative ease,

something worth it,

well maybe a little bit,

anything other than this, shit…

eventually things became clear,

the fear, well it did disappear

and I saw the lesson,

in this prison,

life has its seasons,

reasons,

and nothing lasts,

nothing you will not eventually get past.

Faatima

 

 

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To know what is next,

Lessons in being the best,

To be able to relate,

but at the same time triggered by the fate,

that created a pattern of pain,

kind of insane,

when you can train,

yourself to gain,

abundance, a better-feeling state

open-eyes,

wide in awe of the sights,

this plight, has let in even more daylight,

trust in something more tangible,

has shaped the physical, nothing short of a miracle how…

scars heal,

when we let ourselves feel,

valid and part of the deal

shadows, being real.

The price, not always nice…

but in the end it is wise to not compromise,

if it just does not feel right.

So no more conflicting thoughts on the matter,

making space for meaningless chatter,

Stop trying to prove,

and stand firmly in your own truth.

not an absolute,

sure has it’s roots.

All these games,

a lose-lose situation,

at the end of the day.

Put this all to rest…

a lightness, weight off my chest,

only time and perseverance will tell,

what is to come next.

Faatima

xx

 

 

Let them run

All that has been ignored, forgotten, under-prioritised.

Serves to arise.

Regardless where you think you’ve gotten to in life.

Husband and wife.

Built up a type life.

Feeling good, kind.

Safe corner of the universe,

the awareness came first.

Before the story,

Oblivious of the misery,

made specially and not to be a left mystery.

As we drive further and further away from history.

Solidly apparent still,

denying what is.

The unforseen…

Has been.

x.

 

 

It’s storming out there

a

On the darkest eve of mother moon,

A new cycle starts soon,

Aquarian,

Vegetarian

Humanitarian,

none the less,

look at the mess,

Storming seas,

born out of a little breeze

they rage out there,

rebellious, time to play fair

A temper we shall no doubt observe

if we carry on abusing mother earth.

World in chaos.

Loss.

She is more than cross.

today, changes abound.

I write,

these eyes,

oblivious and blind,

from time to time.

see more than what is beyond these three dimensions,

a startling realisation,

non resistant in nature and free of condemnation,

now I know for sure,

the proof just can’t be ignored.

from what i’ve seen

where i’ve been

I cant deny

and I cannot lie.

You don’t need to understand how and why,

for me it is enough to try,

from where I am sat,

I can see the way that,

things play out,

interconnection, frustrating, imperfect, but at the end of the day all is sound.

Lets not overcomplicate this,

all I want to say is,

…even though its not always such a delight

I’m certainly not stopping this plight,

Faatima

xx

 

Tell me how intelligent are you?

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on a scale of one to ten.

minds of men.

cognitive dissonance.

convincing enough,

yet never the whole truth

the mind-set

that got us into this mess

in the first place

A fractured state.

A type of grief

that never leaves.

you thought you’d be bored,

instead I have you floored.

cant really claim to know what I do not…

truth is it’s really not a lot.

Much of it I have forgot.

…way more than you’d think,

want to express it all in a blink

instead its a life long thing,

so follow your intuition,

let go of inhibitions

If you must go through with the entire task

then take off the mask

have fun, have a blast.

Often we have no clue,

what to do.

Am I the whole or just the glue…

that keeps us together,

forever and ever.

..or maybe never.

clever.

A conceptualised idea

born out of fear.

never letting anyone near.

here.

Am I intelligent or a fool?

The masterpiece or just a tool.

All of these wounds,

illusory, lies,

mythological and denied,

depends on who you ask.

too much to grasp,

so I take another gasp…

…of air.

Climbed the next stair.

Didn’t pull up a chair.

Call it a mission,

all of these opinions

recognitions,

really just wanted to free myself of this condition,

these superstitions

You are crazy,

good at least I’m not lazy.

You think way too deep,

steep,

too much of a leap,

just too much,

there’s really no rush.

Am I reading minds?

No you’ll find,

Time spent

Ascribing intent.

wasted on what went…

fill your cup, let it over flow.

they can drink too as we evolve and grow.

Into our own.

and without really trying we just let go…

when you know that rowers will row.

mowers will mow.

Goers will go.

So and so.

Reaching a new low,

what goes up must indeed come down.

observing in slow-mo,

then it was funny,

and suddenly it was sunny,

the trick is nothing is that serious.

period.

a myriad

of thoughts,

a chain…an onslaught.

I’m learning every day,

openness, a falling away.

bit by bit.

and claiming none of it.

the secret to heal,

is to be real,

to feel,

nothing to prove,

to you

its a simple truth.

understanding,

not demanding.

I chose not to consign to doubt and go with the crowd.

Only then I felt sound.

…and then I felt at peace,

Released,

from the need to know.

clever, clever, clever, no.

Pandoras box

has now been unlocked.

Faatima

xx

 

 

 

A losing game,

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…because how much is it worth?

Does it matter who did it first…

There are no mistakes,

At the finish line it all turns out to be fake.

Somethings you just cannot break

Unshakable, unmistakable

Aware,

Without chasing anything…without a care…

Stories, stolen glory.

A type of wealth,

Found in and of the self.

Reaping what you sow.

Using it to grow.

The attention that you pay,

Will  not only affect your day.

But your entire way…

…whether  choose to leave or stay…

..and the things you choose to say.

Letting go,

Unattached and in my zone.

Never alone,

Content in the midst of chaos

Accepting what was.

It simply went by.

Was never meant to be mine.

So now I can reflect and truly say, goodbye.

Faatima

Xx