I wanted to be free
…free of delusion
So I opened the curtains
Let in the streaming rays of sun.
You caught me off guard
free of the facade.
In a stasis
Tense, caught up and far away from all this.
In the end I had to let go
…and just go with the flow.
It was only when life got me by surprise
…that I finally realised…
I didn’t think my way there,
I felt my way there,
It was not always a smooth ride, nor was it always fair
So hold on to your seats
Or even dance along to the beat
Whether you want a thrill or a simple cruise
I have some news, you get to choose
It’s a natural skill
…and I’m going for the kill
An art form to practice
…but more than that a life-long accomplice
In my mind the scenery translates
…to slowly shifting mountains, developing upon the original state
…with the deepest of compassion and not a single ounce of hate
A time for allowing, they say resistance is futile
..the truth is it is very simple to smile
…a small shift in perception that can take you many miles…
I know, yet somehow I don’t know
I knew, yet somehow I was unaware
We stand amidst a blizzard of snow…letting the winds of change blow
Without a single care the blizzard envelopes us…swirling around chaotically
…yet still It’s movement exudes a misty, gorgeous…dazzling, flare…
Feet firmly on the ground staring up at the sky
Simply listening to the silence…the soundless chaos descending from way up high
This is it
…quietly observing the pieces falling together bit by bit
Eventually it ceases.
Everything settles, no more snow is falling
…and we’re left with an retrospective, introspective, all-consuming knowing.
Before I fall asleep, as I am running for the bus, when I am carefully applying my makeup…
My mind is flooded with ideas, inspiration and poetry…how can I possibly catch up?
If only I had my pen and paper in hand I think,
I wonder to myself, should I just drop everything?
Life consumes me and the magically perfect ideas dissolve into the dark and silent abyss of my mind
A subconscious narrative that later plays on repeat….everything is just fine.
Why would I choose this?
Why on earth?
Ultimately living someone else’s plan for me is pointless.
Once I started to see all the discrepancies in their ideas I knew there was no going back. In my state of disarray and frenzy I found a sense of freedom.
Freedom from their tight grasp, the rigidity and the structure…I dabbled with madness, I became madness. It all turned out okay. Living dangerously was worth it, nothing happened. Nothing significant. No actually everything happened, I happened, I became myself again, I found direction.
Saw inspiration and slowly let go of my, supposedly only alternative to their prison.
Cognitive dissonance they say.
More inspiration flooded in. Suddenly it was all worth it. They will never see. Only I know how worth it everything is. I’m living it. The strife only exacerbated the joy.
Truly unrestrained joy. No strings. Nothing. Just bliss.
This crazy thing I shouldn’t do..they say.
I choose this.
Oh it feels so wrong, that clasping, grasping…clutching energy of take take take
Words of sincerity turn out to be fake fake fake
How about a mutual exchange this time?
Living in harmony, fully aware and no longer blind!
My shadows come out
They are something I could do without
Fragments of my soul released in to the ether
My voice shakes but I speak my truth, it’s now or never
Who are you? They ask
THIS is who I am I reply
Why would should I be afraid when I tell my life story?
No matter how sweet or no matter how gory
You only fear if you mix who you really are with an event
No matter how obscure within each encounter a hidden message is being sent
So I rip off all these layers and bare all these wounds
because really now what is there to lose?
I know for certain that I am already whole
So go ahead and bear your soul…
(Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real after all)