Today I am feeling messy. Come to realise it I have a lot of days like this.

I have come to a realisation that life is messy, once you stop expecting a smooth road and realise that all your mistakes are not actually mistakes…that you cannot fuck up…that it is all part of the dance, you feel lighter. That is without trying to feel better. Acknowledge, accept, understand and feel all situations and all states of mind. I dare the storm to swallow me whole. Come get me I’m not running away any more because I know no matter how far I go you are right behind me and will catch me eventually. The waves have no sign of receding.

It is the trying to change our feelings. The trying so damn hard to feel better, relief from our own prison that gets us all ultimately.

Everything come full circle and that is why I am learning to appreciate every moment good and bad for what it is. I don’t have to like it but I will not resist it.

Life is messy.



Punishment- What is it really about?


The unexamined life is not worth living- Socrates

So I was recently watching a program on the BBC that got my mind racing with all sorts of thoughts and inspiration. This famous quote by Socrates really stood out to me because it applies to my life so much and what I have been finding myself doing more and more in recent times. Infact I feel as if anyone that has found themselves on a journey where they are getting more in touch with their spirit can most likely also relate.

Someone once said to me that what they do not know cannot harm them and therefore ignorance is bliss. That statement irked me then and it still does today, there is little else that irritates me more than when people live in a state of self denial and are utterly terrified of the truth because eventually they are faced with it. Whatever you resist persists because you give it energy and thought which means you eventually attract it into your life. In truth it will show up as an unresolved issue but many will not see it that way in their so called ‘blissful’ ignorance and so they fall flat on their face. I was like this too and still sometimes trip up…don’t get me wrong I am human but the difference is now I am aware of it. With time I gained clarity…all through examining myself.

Knowledge of self is true empowerment, allow me to explain why.

We examine our thought patterns, habits and choices. This can often be confused with being critical of ourselves but I am here to tell you…NO NO NO!!!!! Examining your mind and life from a place of understanding is when you connect the dots for why you do certain things and keep asking why till you get to the very core. Suddenly the pieces all fall together and you realise it is a human condition, we are all one and the same when it comes down to it so there really is no need to self-punish…that is counteractive as guilt is crippling, it weighs you down and keeps you stuck in the past so it does no good. When you do something wrong and feel guilt, initially it is a relevant emotion and has it’s place for you to recognise that what you did doesn’t feel good and thus is not in alignment with your highest good. After that it is just self abuse.

We definitely live in a punishment and reward based society so it is understandable why we adopt this attitude with ourselves through guilt-tripping and beating ourselves up…therefore essentially punishing ourselves. It is in our parenting techniques, schools, court-rooms and of course the religions of the world.

So what is punishment about? Redemption. The answer is to make a person change for the better because they either fear the consequences or to redeem a person who we presume is ‘bad’ and only in suffering can they become good. So in a sick twisted way we glorify suffering and associate it with goodness.

Everything we do has a hidden positive intention even if in reality the action is far from positive. Problem is punishment never works. Just look at the world. People everywhere living in fear and acting out from a space of defensiveness, powerlessness or anger. The lower vibrations.

This is so, so destructive beyond measure, we cannot associate ourselves with our actions…hate the action but not the person. We are just energy at the end of the day and no one is wholly good or bad, we have the potential for both.

Once we have made peace with ourselves we can make decisions from a place of self love. How do we know it is a place of self love? Because it feels emotionally good..and that my friends is when true change begins…just imagine this on a mass scale.

If as a collective we gained more insight and recognised that this is not being selfish…no guilt needed here…

By helping yourself you are helping the world because YOU are a part of this world therefore you are this world.

No more self-punishment. Enough.

I’ll end with one final quote I heard somewhere once-

To end war in the world we must first end the war within ourselves.



x x x

A mistake that we all have made


I’ve done it, you’ve done it…infact lets be honest we probably still do it every day and many of us haven’t even consciously acknowledged it yet. We start something new like a project or pick up a new hobby, make plans for the future all the while telling ourselves the story that we want it but the truth is,we feel as if we have to do it, like it’s almost like a compulsion rather than something that genuinely makes us feel good.

Ask yourself is this really what you really want?…really?

You may be thinking well how can I differentiate between what I truly desire and a desperate compulsion? My answer to you is how does it make you feel? Are you inspired? For me I sometimes feel this burning sense of inspiration where all i want to do is write, write and write, express my emotions and thoughts but of course the dreaded writer’s block happens…i feel the strong energy but not the idea. My reaction these days is to just write it out anyway, whatever sparks interest. Anything. Anything at all. When I start the ideas just flow like a stream. Thinking too much will kill the vibe.

II’ll be the first to admit I don’t have a supportive family in the sense that they never pushed me but it is in my spirit to do what I love and excel because when you feel passionate you automatically do your very best. Even though I went through a phase of hopelessness, depression and consequently apathy..which to be honest I still sometimes have apathetic moments…even though for the most part I definitely have much more motivation than ever before these days so don’t worry..depression days are looonng gone. 🙂

I have recently come to a new realisation. The reason why certain things I have attempted to do in the past have not come to fruition was because I did it from a space of desperation not love and joy. I felt like I had no talent or direction so I essentially made myself try new things…everything was attempted half heartedly. I dipped my toes in the waters…just about.

I am here to ask you today what is the point in doing anything if it doesn’t even make you feel good? I am learning to catch myself in the moments where I am attempting to kid myself and tell myself the story that I am actually enjoying what I am doing in my life at that particular moment when really inside I’d much rather be elsewhere. Infact I promise myself the moment I stop finding something exciting is the moment I will literally drop it like a hotcake.

For once I feel fulfilled, I am blogging and actually enjoying it. I love the whole blogging experience, not just writing but reading other people’s amazing posts. I love connecting with bloggers and yes I truly feel as if us writers are like minded in the sense that we feel this hunger to express our true and authentic selves in words. It is creativity and feeling a connection with others through that is a wonderful thing.

So that’s how I’ve been feeling lately. 🙂

Hope someone can resonate with this post, thank you for taking the time to read.

All the loves,





Uncertainty. Something I have been experiencing lately…actually that’s a lie it’s something I’ve been experiencing all my life. I have recently come to the realisation that uncertainty is the nature of life and the only real certainty there is. I understand that being in the dark is a potentially anxiety inducing experience but once you decide to accept it and flow with the current nothing is as scary.

How does this apply to my life? Well not too long ago I left a commission based job which in and of itself is a position of uncertainty as you never know how much you’ll earn..some weeks are amazing and others appalling which makes it difficult to make plans or save up. Now I’m awaiting my A-level results which will determine my future life path…tomorrow is my final day being in this state of uncertainty. Anxiety levels are high and I have to keep reminding myself that the fears I have are valid and understandable but all the same unnecessary as things will somehow work out if I follow what feels right.

They say it’s not really the unknown we fear but the meaning we assign to it. So today I Ieave you to ponder on that thought and wish you nothing but peace.

Love, Faatima

x x x

A wanderlust’s guide to Britain: Pathlands


‘The river does not think his way to the sea. Our feelings are the wellspring of our being. Whilst we might say we are looking at the view, what we are really doing is feeling it, taking part in it; the truth is, we are at that moment in a relationship with it.’ – Peter Owen Jones

So I have always been a wanderlust at heart…a series of events that have happened in my life so far have led to me this realisation and today I present you with a book that I stumbled across.

Yesterday was a Saturday afternoon and I was bored at home surrounded by chaos, paint is everywhere…the house is reeking of it’s toxic scent and pieces of furniture are scattered in places they don’t usually sit. I am clearly not needed at that current moment so I retreat into my own world searching for some inspiration to write. I felt triggered recently into more intellectual endeavours after watching a particularly interesting documentary on the greatest thinkers of the ancient world. As such my craving to go back into an old passion of mine returned and that is reading. It felt like ages since I had last read something really compelling from my own accord, so I spontaneously popped out to town and headed to Waterstones. There I wandered searching for something intellectually stimulating…it wasn’t an easy task as I had no particular purpose or book I was after, so I randomly scoured the tables and with so many books laid out infront of me I somehow managed to pick up a little gem that made me feel like I was in love.

The book is ‘Pathlands’ by Peter Owen Jones and I have come to realise that it is the perfect guide to Britain for a wanderlust like me who dreams of crossing boundaries and going on new adventures into unknown territories. Now judging from the front cover the book appears so bland and uninteresting but as the saying so rightly goes…never judge a book by it’s cover.

As I sat down to read the preface I realised that I was absolutely sold, the style of writing is phenomenal and envokes such a deep emotion by encapsulating the whole experience of adventuring so well in words. I felt instantly as if I could relate to the author and the passion behind the writing is so intense. One of my favourite quotations that stood out to me the most was:

‘We can go online and look at endless pictures of a thousand places we have never been to, but we can have no memories of a place until we have walked within it.’

So whilst I am busy planning to cross the borders of this small island I am missing the fact that before I leave there is so much left to see here, so many unexplored and intriguing landscapes. I am definitely looking forward to delve right into this book and will you keep you posted on how I feel about it…whether it inspires me to travel to any new places, which to be honest it already has, places not too far away…practically on my doorstep.

Thanks for reading,

Love from Faatima

x x x